Sustainable living is wonderful, when it’s your choice. When it’s thrust upon you – as it has been, for many of us, this year – it can cause some tension, even when we know it’s the right thing to do.

I was an advocate for sustainable living long before sourdough starter clubs were a thing. When public health started advising people to stay home and avoid unnecessary trips to the stores this year, it should have been business as usual for me.

I already baked (occasionally) and set up preserves (rarely). I enjoyed spending time in my garden (when I had to) and going for nature walks (when the weather was nice). What would this year bring, if not doing more of the things that I already knew how to do, and enjoyed (sometimes)?

An inner conflict arose. While I have known, all along, that sustainable living requires a mindful focus on consuming less and using your home turf to its best advantage, being told that I ought to do it, for the good of society and to be prepared for rockier times ahead, made it feel stressful.

The first rule of sustainability is that it is a long-term commitment. If conserving resources is affecting your mental health, you won’t be able to sustain that level of conservation for very long. The spirit of true sustainability this holiday season, then, should reflect what we know we can do and live with, at least for the foreseeable future.

The traditional approach to sustainable giving focuses on giving experiences, rather than physical gifts. If you must give physical gifts, make them yourself or buy local from a shop whose ethics you can get behind. However, if this approach is adding to your mental burden instead of easing it, cut yourself some slack.

Giving experiences this year might be tricky. Concerts and shows are still on hold, so we’re left with the possibility of giving tickets to outdoor recreation events (skiing and skating) or going on outings close to home. If your family isn’t into outdoor recreation, you could give them one of these experiences and hope that they like it, but if you live with a bunch of winter-haters, consider another experiential gift: a gift of your service.

A gift of service can be small or large, one-time or recurring. The key is to make it something you will follow through on. Offering to clean out the garage is lovely, but if it takes you six months to do it, and you resent every second you spend sorting through screws and nails, perhaps that gift isn’t the best expression of your affection for the recipient. Intention, translated to action, is key.

In the community, you might volunteer with one of our many great charitable organizations, such as Martha’s Table, Lunch by George or Lionhearts. Tommy’s Diner is hoping to organize its annual Christmas hamper giveaway as usual this year, and if they move forward they will be in need of volunteer drivers to deliver the hampers.

Kingston’s shelters and food programs always appreciate donations and acts of service leading up to the holidays. The Kingston Youth Shelter, Kingston Street Mission, In from the Cold shelter, Lily’s Place, Nightlight and Ryandale Transitional House are all good places to keep in mind.

If these aren’t your style, consider shovelling snow or putting up outdoor lights for a neighbour who can’t. Maybe you’d just like to let someone in front of you in line at a store. No act of service is too small.

After acts of service come home-made gifts. I took a quick look around my house and found some things I wasn’t using any more. They weren’t good enough to donate to a thrift store, but they also weren’t bad enough to go into a landfill.

I’m turning old fleece pyjamas and a shrunken wool sweater into a pair of mitts and a cat cave. I also have an impressive collection of wire coat hangers that I think will make pretty funky bird feeders, if I can find people to give them to.

However, sometimes our inner crow craves something flashy and impractical that just can’t be replaced by good deeds and an upcycled sweater. In that case, if it will make you – or your loved one – over-the-moon happy, buy the thing and put your mind at rest.

I plan to round out my holiday gift-giving with the help of Kingston’s small businesses. Small-business sustainability is vital to sustaining the economic health of our whole region.

Many local businesses, such as Cloth Clothing, Smith’s Army Surplus, Tara Natural Foods, Urban Nature and Verde, offer online shops for their products, while Novel Idea, Card’s Bakery and Bread & Butter Bakery let you order online for pickup in the store.

Sustainability, at its core, isn’t about eking out a miserable existence. It’s about being content with what you have, what you do and how you interact with others, and knowing you can do it long-term without causing harm to yourself or your environment.

This holiday season provides the chance for us to reflect on how sustainable our lives have become. As the world around us draws in on itself, take comfort in the knowledge that you are doing your best, even if that sometimes involves an impulse purchase or two. In the end, the most important thing you can sustain is your sense of inner peace. Happy holidays!

Jane Bailey is an editor, writer, and sustainable-living advocate based in Kingston. She can be reached at jane.elizabeth.bailey@gmail.com .